How to Build good habits as a Christian youth

We’ve all heard of the good ol’saying “Habits make or break you.” But how do we create these good habits?

It is unarguably hard to create new habits when you’re already used to your old ones. Human beings are wary of change, we love comfort. So, dumping what you’re used to and adopting new ones can be very difficult.

Luckily, change doesn’t have to be so uncomfortable and since we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us, we can pull through and turn our bad habits into good ones.

But first, how are habits formed?

According to James Clear’s book “Atomic habits”, habits are formed in a four steps loop: Cue–Craving– Response–Reward.

When you recognise the need to do something (Cue), your brain starts to come up with solutions (Cravings). When these solutions are executed (Response) and the outcome is pleasant (Reward), your brain marks that cycle and stores it for next time which forms a habit over time.

E.g When you hear your phone ping, you immediately get a cue to check what notifications you have. These cue leads to a craving of wanting to know the contents of those notifications, which stimulates an action of you taking the phone. Once you read the notification, your craving becomes satisfied and you get your reward. So, the next time you hear your phone ping, your brain automatically recalls the satisfaction it got from taking your phone and reading your notifications and repeats it.

Remember that your brain only wants what satisfies it. So it is impossible to create a habit without these four steps. If your brain never recognises the cue, the craving won’t happen. And if there’s no craving, there’s no cause for action and thus no reward.

Now that we know how habits are formed, you can use this cycle to your advantage by following what James Clear calls “The Fours Laws of Behaviour change” which are:

1st law: Make it Obvious (Cue)
2nd law: Make it Attractive (Craving)
3rd law: Make it Easy (Response)
4th law: Make it Satisfying (Reward)

Atomic habits by James Clear

Following these four laws, here is a summary of some tips that you can apply to build new habits.

Write Clear and Concise Habit Goals.

All of us want a better life. Better clothes, better grades, better finances, better health. And we know that we have to create good habits that’ll automatically lead to these better things, but it becomes difficult identifying the exact habits we need to create. Sometimes, we make vague pitches and expect to stick to it. Exercise more, Read more, Pray more, Save more and so on. We make wishes instead of resolutions. If you want to form good habits, you have to be detailed about the habits you want to adopt.

For instance, if you want make reading a habit, choose a genre of books you want to read, and a frequency of reading. “I will start reading more this month” now becomes “I will read a new book every two weeks.“

Writing out your habits goals fulfils the first law of behavioural change, which is making it obvious. Clearly defining the habits you want to adopt takes away any uncertainty that may accompany it.

Add new habits to old ones.

You can’t change your entire routine at once, it’s just not possible. Change takes consistency and effort, and little changes have a longer lasting effect. So if you want to start changing your habits and adding new ones, you have to sprinkle them in little bits.

Add new habits that you want to adopt into your old ones that you already do. For instance, if I want to read my Bible every morning and I have a habit of checking my phone every morning, I may decide to read at least four chapters of the Bible before checking my phone.

Since I know that I’ll inevitably check my phone sooner or later, adding reading Bible as a prerequisite to what I’ll eventually end up doing makes it difficult for me not to do it.

In essence, think of something you know you enjoy doing everything and find a way to connect it to a good habit you want to adopt.

You can even break these habits in smaller chunks, will leads me to the next point.

Start Small.

Yes, I know, you’ve heard this a dozen times, it sounds mediocre and you could do much more if you just jump straight into the big deal. But wouldn’t you prefer feeling good over small accomplishments that’s easy to get, than setting unrealistic goals that are prone to failure?

It’s easy to anticipate doing the big stuff when your brain is still pumping with motivation–  I will start exercising for 30 minutes every day and studying for 10 hours everyday. But let’s be honest, motivation doesn’t last, and big starts like these aren’t sustainable, at least for the majority.

One of James Clear 3rd Law tips is to downscale your habits until they can be done in two minutes or less.

Here are a few examples.

Read More: Pick a book and skim through the first two pages including the table of contents.

Exercise often: Do ten jumping jacks and 10 pushups every morning as soon as I get off my bed.

Pray: Do the sign of the cross and recite the Lord’s prayer first thing when I open my eyes.

You may not be reading the entire book, or getting enough reps in, or praying for a long time, but it’s a step in the direction you want to take.

The aim of downscaling your habits is not to do them perfectly, but to make them too easy that it’s almost impossible not to do them. With this, your brain can master these little actions that once it becomes automatic, will start to improve into bigger things. Like a seed that sprouts into a flower and then a tree, good habits when sown little by little will eventually blossom into a great lifestyle.

"Whoever is faithful in small matters will be faithful in large ones; whoever is dishonest in small matters will be dishonest in large ones."
Luke 16:10 GNBDK

Motivation is overrated, design your environment instead.

I don’t want to be that person who says “if you truly want it, you’ll get it done” because that’s just not true. Sometimes, you may really want something, but your greatest willpower will fall in the hands of a bad environment. You may want to study really bad, but if you’re in the middle of a party, that’s not going to happen, no matter how “motivated” you are at that point.

Designing your environment doesn’t necessarily mean physically. Afterall, not everyone has that privilege, especially as young adults. Prepping your environment can simply mean making little changes to your daily life that make your good habits more obvious and easier to do.

Let’s say I plan to read my Bible every night. If it’s not within eye range by the time night reaches, I may forget or procrastinate doing it till I eventually don’t.

On the flip side, if I have my Bible sitting right next to me on the bed, chances are, I’ll read it, because it’s both obvious and easy to do so.

You can also reverse this psychology to help you quit bad habits. Say you want to stop checking social media too often, “forget” your phone in another room. When the urge finally comes to catch up on what’s trending on twitter, you’ll be forced to get up get it. Your physical body will be at war with your brain thus making that habit more stressful and less likely to be done.

Happy are those who reject the advice of evil people, who do not follow the example of sinners or join those who have no use for God. 
Psalms 1:1 GNBDK 

Community is Vital

“Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are” is a famous saying, one every teen/youth has heard at least once since their childhood.

This saying is very true. As much as you may like to think that you’re in control, you are a product of society, we all are. This can be both bad and good– bad if the society we find ourselves in are working against the habits we wish to build, and good if vice versa. Another benefit of community is that they can help you with accountability i.e, you can find someone to link up with that ensures you’re both on track with your habits.

Use the power of community to foster good habits. Do you want to read more? Make friends with studious people. Are you tired of using money unwisely, be around financially responsible people and notice how they spend. Do you want to increase your faith? Hang around people who constantly pray and read the word of God and soon, you’ll be influenced positively.

This does not mean you must unfriend your old friends, but draw closer to people who do the type of things you want to do.

As a popular naija saying goes: “Follow who know road”

"Not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near" 
Hebrews 10:25

Develop a reward system.

Rewards are not the goals of building good habits, but they are helpful.

Develop your own reward system, do something good that you love to do after you’ve done what you ought to do, which in this case is your new habit.

This will keep your brain coming back for more because it has something to look forward to at the end of its achievements.

Example, I may decide to watch a YouTube video after I’ve studied for an hour or two, or a good movie after reading my Bible for the day.

Your reward system can be long term as well. For instance, if you’ve been working really hard on a project and it finally succeeds, perhaps buy something you like or rest without guilt for several days.

Love Boredom.

Despite these numerous tips, there will certainly be days when you’re left with nothing. Days when indulging in your new good habits becomes boring.

On days like this, enjoy the boredom. Focus on doing the habits even when you don’t “feel” like it. Do it as an obligation, not a hobby, because eventually once you push past those seasons of boredom, you become stronger and more persistent.

Take breaks if necessary, but don’t quit

So you had a bad day, haven’t exercised for months, the pages of your book still fresh from not being opened in over a week, I understand.

New habits are rarely done perfectly and that’s fine as you’re starting. Don’t see small mistakes as failures, rather take them as breaks that will end and then you can continue on your good habits..

The first mistake is never the one that ruins you. It is the spiral of repeated mistakes that follows. Missing once is an accident. Missing twice is the start of a new habit. This is a distinguishing feature between winners and losers. Anyone can have a bad performance, a bad workout, or a bad day at work. But when successful people fail, they rebound quickly. The breaking of a
habit doesn’t matter if the reclaiming of it is fast.

Atomic habits by James Clear

Finally,

In all your efforts to build a better life as a youth, never forget to present your plans to God. Talk to him about the new habits you’ll like to inculcate into your life and trust that he has given you the grace and strength to accomplish them.

Commit your actions to the LORD, and your plans will succeed. - Proverb 16:3 NLT

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Stay Safe, Stay Happy.